Carol's Corner

“When our hearts turn to our ancestors, something changes inside us. We feel part of something greater than ourselves.” Russel M. Nelson

What do you think about. . . . ? You can fill in the blank with the remainder of a question a family member might have asked you about one or more of your relatives. Maybe they asked about a family event in the past or one on the calendar in the near future.

A couple years ago, one of my aunts asked me, “You grew up spending lots of time with both your grandmothers. What did you think about having one with a disability and one that didn’t?”

I am not often at a loss for words but on this occasion I replied, “I’ll have to think about that and let you know.”

I took time to remember these two women, my grandmothers, who had played an enormous role in my life. Both grandmas were the same age, born one day apart in December 1900.

Grannie Clark loved family. She lived in a small house with a small garden including flowers. She had tea everyday with her sister who lived next door. Grannie made the yummiest butter tarts, with fall apart flaky crust. I played dress up in her shoes and pretty costume jewelry. She loved to sit and rock and having a baby or child on her lap made it better she said.

Grandma Fast lived in a bigger house in a small town with a huge garden including flowers. She visited family as often as possible. Grandma made huge yummy cookies and good food. I played outside or in the spare room with a few toys she kept there. She loved to sit and rock and having a baby or child nearby made it all the better.

Now there were a few difference I noted as I grew a little older. Grannie was a widow by the time I was 8. She kept borders at times to supplement her income. English was the only language spoken at her home. She really did not like pictures taken of her because she told me her face was deformed. I never saw it.

Grandma Fast spoke low German and English. She would laugh when I figured out some of the low German words. She walked a little differently since one leg did not always cooperate. Her right hand curled into a fist and made doing many tasks a little challenging and yet she gardened, cooked, baked and sewed just like my other grandma.

In the end I had my answer for my aunt. “Auntie, any differences I saw in my grandmothers never bothered me. They were just two unique individuals I happened to call grandma. They had their own way of doing things but I never viewed one as disabled. All I knew or cared about was the love I felt from them and for them.”

Yes sometimes a question that begins with the words, “What do you think about. . . ?” can leave us sorting through memories and family stories before we come up with an answer. The journey down memory lane makes us look at things a little differently as we contemplate an answer.

Have you ever had a time when someone asked a question that made you have to pause, search through memories and stories before coming up with an answer? Were you surprised at the question or its answer?

“If we think that this life is all there is to life then there is no interruption of our problems, our pain, not even of our privileges. But everything changes when we open up to the possibility that God’s story is really our story too.” Max Lucado

I Love to Tell The Story is an old Hymn which I have known since I childhood. As a child I heard Bible Stories every week at Sunday School and often in between from my mom or grandpa. However, as I grew up, I read the Bible stories I loved so much as a child. Now I realize that kids and audiences of all ages still love to hear them told, not just read verse by verse out of the Bible. ( I believe it is important that people know where to find the story so they can read it for themselves later).

How do you tell a Bible story? I believe it is the same way we tell any other story. We need to know it well. We need to practice it often. We need to learn to show the conflict, give word pictures for the setting and get excited about the whole story and especially the result – where God stepped intervened in the situation.

Think about the excitement of David and Goliath. On one hand you have a young shepherd boy, inexperienced in battle with a giant. He knew how to look after his sheep. He protected them from lions and bears with his slingshot but he had never worn armour. He had never thrown a spear. David also knew that God could do the impossible. His faith was huge.

Goliath stood nine feet tall. His armour weighed more than David. He had someone to carry a shield for him. He was a well trained soldier and he taunted the Israelite army. David approached the opponent who laughed at him, thought the fight would be a foregone conclusion with himself as the winner. Yet David, with his slingshot and five smooth stones, along with his faith in God defeated the giant.

When I speak at camp, at ladies ministry events, at church events where I am allowed to share my faith and the stories of the Bible, I combine telling of Bible stories with modern day faith stories for I truly believe that the God of the Bible is still God today. Too many times people relegate the Bible as a dusty old book that is not relevant today. Through story and message I share with them what I find to be true in my own life. God still intervenes in the lives of people but it does not always look like what we expect it to look like.

Tell me the stories of Jesus, write on my heart every word. Tell me the stories most precious, sweetest that I’ve ever heard. Yes I do love to tell all kinds of stories but I really do love to listen to someone tell the stories of the Bible. I love to listen to people tell me their faith stories and I love to tell the stories to others. It takes practice to tell the stories well, to take nothing away from the Biblical account not add extra facts. It takes knowing them well and then weaving them together with modern day God stories and audiences will respond.

One young fellow at camp this summer told me that I had made the Bible come alive to him like no one had for a long time. Thank you God for the ability to tell the stories you had recorded for us.

Do you like to listen to someone tell a Bible story? Do you like to tell them? They are already written, we just need to read, learn and practice the telling so we are ready when someone asks us to tell them a Bible story.

I had the opportunity to compete in a Toastmaster Division Table Topics contest on October 15, 2016. Table topics is simply impromptu speaking. In other words I was given a question, had to answer immediately and would be judged on whether I answered the question well and in a mini speech format – opening, body, conclusion and in the time frame of one to two minutes. I found the question to be one I could answer easily but the danger would be keeping in on time.
The question, “If you could give a message to a large audience, what would your message be and why?”

The thought of being able to speak to a large audience is truly a dream of mine. I have many messages I speak on but the one that came to mind I would share with an audience of vast numbers, a handful or even one other person. It is a message with a challenge to each one of us to learn to know others who might not be like ourselves and include them. Too often we do not know enough about someone with a disability or how to communicate when our first languages are not the same. We might not know what to do for the person in the wheelchair or with mobility aids. How do we talk to someone who is hard of hearing or hang out with someone whose sight is gone or nearly so. What about those who struggle to make their wants and needs understood because they are trapped in a body that will not do what they want it to. These unknowns causes fear. I believe that we need to educate ourselves and others to take away that fear of the unknown.

My answer that day included these thoughts. The message I would take to an audience of any size is that inclusion benefits everyone. We need to learn, mentor, teach, instruct and move beyond the stigma, the fear and look for the abilities within the disabilities, look for what we have in common instead of how we are different. I have stories that illustrate this message. I have given this message in a variety of settings and the personal stories that illustrate it grab the audience attention and hold it. The challenge I issued at the end of my short answer the other day is the same one I issue and would issue over and over to an audience of any size. It is, “Be courageous and include.”

What message would you like to deliver to a large audience? What stories would you use to illustrate that message? Have you had the opportunity to give that message to an audience of any size before?

Once upon a time. . . so many stories start like this, either with those exact words or with that sentiment. We like to imagine a time long ago or not so far off when things were simple, fixable, easy and fun. Movies, books, TV shows, stories we hear, read and watch have something in their words or actions to grab our attention, to whisk us away from our everyday reality. They may offer us lessons or simply entertainment and yet we gravitate towards them over and over again.

As we read to children or simply tell them the fairy tales or folk lore that begins once upon a time we see there faces light up. They come to know the characters, learn what comes next and can’t wait for the ending, the familiar ending of . . . they lived happily ever after. As we grow up and life events happen, some of them tough or tragic we too long for the happily ever after.

We forget in the middle of our struggles to make ends meet, try and succeed at work or school, look after the kids, the house, the activities and latest phone call demanding our attention that life is not that much different than fairy tales. We forget that even in fairy tales there are fire breathing dragons, wicked queens or witches. The stories have conflict, tough stuff and all of it needs to be worked on before we get to happily ever after. The main characters come out stronger and more lovable when compared to the ogres and trolls.

Each of us have stories in our lives, stories that go beyond Once Upon A Time. They are real. They hurt. They are exciting. They are devastating. They are! With each chapter of our life story we have our own tough stuff, our own good things and lessons gleaned from the adventure.

Laurence Sterne said, “Lessons of wisdom have the most power over us when they capture the heart through the groundwork of a story, which engages the passions.”

Sometimes the stories are on going, too hard to share with anyone since we are still in the middle of them. Journaling the events and the lessons learned helps us filter our responses to the day, week, month, year(s) and later gives us an opportunity to look back at where we’ve been and what we have learned along the way. There may come a time when your story can be shared with family, friends or beyond. Yes there might not be the happily ever after in the near future but as we survive the struggles, we grow and learn.

Anne Barab, a toastmaster and accomplished professional speaker shared at a conference I attended a few years ago. Later I had the opportunity to talk to her. She asked me what I was passionate to speak about and then told me that it is important to focus on the positives gleaned from the negative situations of life. The tough stuff is the backdrop but the nuggets of gold are the lessons you learned to pass on to someone else in the form of a story as part of your message.

I shared in an earlier post about writing the book Amee’s Story. It gave me a chance to sift through journal entries and pick out lessons I learned. It goes beyond a made up story into personal experience and with it I have been able to share with others the hope I found in the middle of the unexpected.

What tough things have you endured? What stories of hope and lessons learned have you been able to share, if you are at that point? Maybe you are still in the middle of the tough stuff of life and you wonder if happily ever after or even for a few moments will ever come. If this is where you are, may you know that you are not alone.

“We learn best and change from hearing stories that strike a chord within us.” John Kotter

I do love listening to and telling stories. I have the opportunity to tell lots of stories when I speak at children’s Bible camps in the summer. Often things happen that spark another story to be used at another time and place. These go into my story file. Today I want to share one story that happened a few years ago when I spoke at a ranch camp for 10 – 12 year old campers. Because this was a specialized camp of 22 campers, whose main activity all week was horsemanship, within the larger camp, we had all our chapel times outside.

Stars twinkled high above the evergreens. The campers and their cabin leaders sat on the first two rows of rough log benches, in a semi circle around a roaring campfire. I stood at the front, my props resting on top of a few log chunks piled up to be at the right height. The campers leaned forward to listen. I told a Bible story and a modern day story with an application for each one of us that final night of camp.

I loved standing at the campfire telling stories to these campers. No technology in sight. Nothing to distract us except the crackling of flames, the occasional swatting of annoying, blood sucking mosquitoes. As I finished speaking I invited the program director to join me and give instructions for the rest of the evening. I knew what her plans were but as she began to speak she stopped mid sentence. I looked at her, at the campers who waited with an eager anticipation to hear the plans, and became confused. Then I followed her gaze past the campers, past the empty third row of rustic benches, up the small incline to the big evergreen tree. I stared at the shape I saw – a bear stood on its hind legs then dropped to all fours, before standing erect one more time.

She looked at me and then at the campers. “Kids, here’s what we are going to do now. We are all going to go to the first cabin to my right. Once we are all there I will tell you where we are going next.”

One of the boys put up his hand, “But that’s a girl’s cabin and we aren’t allowed to go there.”

“Well,” she answered calmly, “Tonight is something special and for right now all of us, boys, girls, all the cabin leaders and even our speaker are going to walk over there and hang out.”

The campers and staff got up and wandered over to the cabin, chattering happily about this new adventure. I followed at the end. As I shut the door behind me and faced the group of kids, one of them said, “Hey Carol, there was a bear out there wasn’t there.”

What an adventure for the last night of camp. I kept that story in my file. I have used it at other camps when the lesson is on obedience since the campers exhibited a fantastic example of that. I have used it to answer a question at a Toastmaster meeting that needed to involve something cold and wet somewhere close to me one dark, spooky night. I thought a bear’s nose might be cold and wet. I have told the story to entertain a group of adults, exaggerating the darkness, the size of the bear, the scariness – well the scary factor did not need much embellishment since a black bear was too close for comfort and I have used it to illustrate God’s hand of protection on all of us. I do not know how long that bear had been there watching and listening. I am sure that this story will be pulled out again and again.

Do you have a story you have used in multiple ways? How did the various audiences react?

If making your presentations come alive, capturing the attention and imagination of the audience and helping people remember the main point or message of your speech is done by adding stories to the mix, then how do you find stories?

By definition stories are a narrative either true or fictitious in prose or in verse, designed to interest amuse or instruct the hearer or reader. Stories or narratives are all around us. We can google and find stories on various subjects but the best stories are personal stories. With a personal story you have more chance to remember it because it is your story. You will be able to portray the characters easier because it is your own story – it happened to you or to someone close to you and you have personal knowledge of it.

If you are like me, ideas flit through your mind. I am always sure I will remember the idea, thought, story, quote or speech idea and yet I know that many times it becomes lost in time and space. How do you keep track of a good story that will work in a presentation. Often when I do plan to keep an idea and write it down, it will be on a piece of paper that I can’t find later.

To overcome those piles of little papers or lost in time and space ideas and stories we can start a story file. A story file can be kept in a journal, a notebook or digitally. We can create files on our computers, store it on a flashdrive, print off a copy and put it in a paper file in a cabinet. Pick a method, the type of file that works the best for you, and simply begin collecting stories, quotes, ideas and file them by theme. If you are just beginning to add stories to your presentations, start by collecting stories on your favourite theme to speak on. Then expand to more themes if you want.

Keep your eyes and ears open for stories but write them down rather than relying on your memory. Record them in some fashion. I have even just jotted thoughts that might spark a memory, a story or an idea for a presentation. I have opted for a notebook, or multiple notebooks instead of loose papers. When I write a story I do so at the computer and save it. This allows me to easily go back and do edits, pull it out to use with a presentation or share it with someone else.

One thing I have not done well, to this point, is have the stories sorted by theme. In the last post I mentioned a few possible themes. I do speak on several of them and some of my stories are able to be used in various types of presentations and with several of the themes. Maybe sorting by theme might have to be put on my to do list in order to help keep stories in a better file system. The important thing is to get a collection of stories, the more personal ones the better, and store them in a way that works for you to access them when you need them.

Do you have a story file? What works best for you to collect stories, anecdotes, thoughts and useful information on the theme you like to speak on?

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a webinar called, “How to Use Stories to Create Unforgettable speeches, Presentations and Sermons” taught by Wole Ososami and Andrew Osayemi. www.woleososami.com

Wole and Andrew covered topics such as How to structure stories for greater impact, how to turn personal stories into audience impacting stories and how to make audiences never forget your stories. It intrigued me to have a chance to hear how others, CEO’s of their own companies, world class speaking coach ( Wole) dealt with the subject that is very important to me and one I am writing about for these 31 days in October. Many things I already knew and practice but it I still learned a few things as take away messages for myself.

His top tips were:
1. Keep a story file – I will address this more in an upcoming blog post
2. Short is sweet – can you take a long story and shorten it without taking away the message in it? This is a challenge
3. Keep it simple
4. Use word pictures – when you paint pictures with your words you draw the audience into the setting. They can place themselves where your characters are. This takes careful crafting in order to also keep is short and sweet.
5. Humor comes through the dialogue of your characters – give them distinct voices and don’t have too many characters as this is confusing.
6. Avoid being the hero – always better to tell stories where someone else comes in as the hero – helping you out. This enables the audience to see themselves finding a solution in the same way you did and not dismiss the possibility of being able to accomplish all you succeeded in doing.

“So keep your stories simple, add unexpected twists, flesh out your characters and scenes to make them concrete, exaggerate but make it believable and credible, appeal to emotions and make your message an inspiring one.” Wole Ososami

At the end of the webinar Wole asked us, “What’s the next step?” followed by a challenge. I plan to accept the challenge. There are a few steps to consider in completing this challenge. The first one is to pick a theme – what I am passionate in talking about. Some possible themes to consider are Hope, Relationships, Inspiration, Dealing with Adversity, Motivation, Finance. Since there are several in this list I do speak about I will have to narrow it down to one.

Step 2 of the challenge is to think about the message and main point I want to emphasize in the theme I choose.

Step 3 – write a 200 word story to deliver to bring your point across. In those 200 words ( well crafted and edited) make sure to include good characters, conflict, cure, change and message. Wow only 200 words to deliver a story that packs a punch. It means editing, not going down rabbit trails and most importantly reflecting the point I want to make. It will not be easy but I believe it will be worthwhile.

Are you ready for a challenge to tell a powerful story using only a few words? Maybe you already do this on a regular basis. If not, it is never too late to start. It will help tighten up writing, storytelling and presentations. Have some fun.

“We all have a life story and a message that can inspire others to live a better life or run a better business. Why not use that story and message to serve others and grow a better business?” Brendon Burchard

We do all have a story and a message that can help others learn, grow and be encouraged. We may not all want to become professional storytellers, build a business of telling and writing stories but that does not mean we can’t use stories to build up any presentation we may have to do at school, at work, at church. It helps people in your audience remember your points.

To tell an effective anecdote or story we need to practice, practice, practice. Sometimes we need help to overcome our fear of speaking publicly or help in crafting a powerful story to go with our message. Where can you practice telling stories to help you gain confidence, improve your timing and find ones that fit your message? Where can I get help, feedback and the practice. I have found a few helpful resources which I will share with you today. I am sure there may be many others you may find as you begin to explore this fascinating venture into storytelling.

www.toastmaster.org This is an international organization providing educational opportunities for people to learn, practice and improve their speaking and leadership skills. There are clubs around the world. I have been a member since February 2003 and have found the help and mentoring has improved my storytelling and public speaking skills. I have seen many others who have overcome shyness and gained confidence in huge doses.

Another organization which has chapters across Canada is the Storytellers of Canada. There focus is to help people improve their storytelling skills to keep the oral tradition of storytelling alive. You can visit their website at www.storytellers-conteurs.ca I have attended the Saskatoon group several times. Storytellers and listeners are welcome for an evening of stories.

In this world of technology, you can google storytelling and find articles, you tube videos and blog posts on storytelling and the benefit of adding this to enhance any presentation. Several video clips I checked out which give some tips on components of a good story include:

http://www.youtube.co/watch?v=Ex1rF7zgQ Greg Powers on The Power of Stories
Another one is Cheryl Hunter talking about The Transformative Power of Storytelling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rsg9ftrsM

There are so many resources available to help us learn more about storytelling, hear others tell stories and figure out the best way to incorporate stories into our presentations.

What resources have you used? How helpful did you find them?

Story touches our hearts. We can relate to the characters in the story. Today I will share one example of a story I use when I teach public speaking workshops. These workshops often involve people who are terrified to get up and do a presentation in front of co workers or their peers. At one workshop a gentleman tried to convince me he would have a heart attack if he had to come up and answer an impromptu question. Yet his livelihood involved sales and he needed to get over his fear

“How many of you are terrified to speak in front of an audience? How many are a bit afraid? How many don’t mind?” I watch as hands go up in each category. Then I begin this story.

“I stood in front of a class and asked them the questions I just asked you. I barely began the next part of my presentation when one of the men from the office ran past our open door yelling, “Smoke! Get Out! Get Out Now! Smoke” We waited in stunned silence, listening for the fire alarm. Finally I moved towards the door to check. Maybe it was a drill. Maybe a false alarm or someone just trying to scare us all. We could still hear his shouts as he continued to run down the hall, past all the doors and classes. I peeked out into the hall and to my right I saw smoke billowing. Turning to the class I urged them to walk to the nearest stairway and exit the building calmly. A rush of people headed towards the door and stairway. One lady tripped and a fellow student helped her up. Down four flights of stairs until we reached the outside and were hustled away from the building by fireman. Other fire fighters entered the building to find the source of the smoke and extinguish any fires before allowing us back into the building. After what seemed a long period of time watching smoke billow from our fourth floor classroom window, we were given the all clear to reenter the building. The elevator motor had burned and been contained. Our class opted to resume the next day in order to allow the smoke to be cleared from the classroom. A fire, smoke from and electrical fire and jostling on a stairwell all are terrifying and potentially lethal. How hard can it be, after that, to get up and speak in front of your peers. It may terrify you but it won’t kill you.”

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The gentleman, who thought he would have a heart attack, got up and did some speaking and survived quite nicely.Sometimes a story will help the audience relate in a way that just telling them public speaking will not kill you can. Sometimes we just need to nudge out of our comfort zone to discover a whole adventure.

” Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

What terrifying, potentially lethal story can you use as an example of overcoming the obstacle of speaking in public?

“Be unpredictable, be real, be interesting. Tell a good story. ” James Dashner.

Stories have certain elements that help them engage the audience’s attention. You need characters for all stories have characters. You can be one of the characters, this makes the story easy for you to remember since it is personal experience.

A good story will have some type of conflict or obstacle that the character is dealing with. The obstacle or conflict needs to be believable, relatable to your main point. But you can not leave the character in conflict. There must be a resolution to the situation, there needs to be a cure. Someone needs to win and if the underdog wins it is much better. Finally how does this resolution change the character, change the outlook and what message does it send.

You have your theme for the presentation. You have an outline, main points and your statistics. You also have anecdotes or stories to illustrate and enhance the main points. You have crafted your stories with the crucial elements of character, conflict, cure and change. But now what?

To make sure the story adds to your presentation, engages your audience and is memorable you need to work on making the oral presentation of the story as strong as possible. We need to know our presentation, our theme, our message but we also need to know the audience. However, I believe the key word to achieve this is PRACTICE! No matter what skill we are working on, including storytelling, we need to practice, practice, practice. We need to practice the timing to have it be smooth and the right length for the type of presentation we are doing. We need to practice so we can be enthusiastic in our delivery of the story.

Therefore, no matter how dry and boring the subject matter may seem to be, bring it alive by finding the story at the heart of it all and practice until you can tell it effectively.

John Kotter said, “We learn best and change from hearing stories that strike a chord within us.”

I love adding stories into any speech, presentation or message I deliver. How about you? Do you add stories into your presentations? How has the audience responded.