Carol's Corner

“When our hearts turn to our ancestors, something changes inside us. We feel part of something greater than ourselves.” Russel M. Nelson

What do you think about. . . . ? You can fill in the blank with the remainder of a question a family member might have asked you about one or more of your relatives. Maybe they asked about a family event in the past or one on the calendar in the near future.

A couple years ago, one of my aunts asked me, “You grew up spending lots of time with both your grandmothers. What did you think about having one with a disability and one that didn’t?”

I am not often at a loss for words but on this occasion I replied, “I’ll have to think about that and let you know.”

I took time to remember these two women, my grandmothers, who had played an enormous role in my life. Both grandmas were the same age, born one day apart in December 1900.

Grannie Clark loved family. She lived in a small house with a small garden including flowers. She had tea everyday with her sister who lived next door. Grannie made the yummiest butter tarts, with fall apart flaky crust. I played dress up in her shoes and pretty costume jewelry. She loved to sit and rock and having a baby or child on her lap made it better she said.

Grandma Fast lived in a bigger house in a small town with a huge garden including flowers. She visited family as often as possible. Grandma made huge yummy cookies and good food. I played outside or in the spare room with a few toys she kept there. She loved to sit and rock and having a baby or child nearby made it all the better.

Now there were a few difference I noted as I grew a little older. Grannie was a widow by the time I was 8. She kept borders at times to supplement her income. English was the only language spoken at her home. She really did not like pictures taken of her because she told me her face was deformed. I never saw it.

Grandma Fast spoke low German and English. She would laugh when I figured out some of the low German words. She walked a little differently since one leg did not always cooperate. Her right hand curled into a fist and made doing many tasks a little challenging and yet she gardened, cooked, baked and sewed just like my other grandma.

In the end I had my answer for my aunt. “Auntie, any differences I saw in my grandmothers never bothered me. They were just two unique individuals I happened to call grandma. They had their own way of doing things but I never viewed one as disabled. All I knew or cared about was the love I felt from them and for them.”

Yes sometimes a question that begins with the words, “What do you think about. . . ?” can leave us sorting through memories and family stories before we come up with an answer. The journey down memory lane makes us look at things a little differently as we contemplate an answer.

Have you ever had a time when someone asked a question that made you have to pause, search through memories and stories before coming up with an answer? Were you surprised at the question or its answer?