Carol's Corner

Once upon a time. . . so many stories start like this, either with those exact words or with that sentiment. We like to imagine a time long ago or not so far off when things were simple, fixable, easy and fun. Movies, books, TV shows, stories we hear, read and watch have something in their words or actions to grab our attention, to whisk us away from our everyday reality. They may offer us lessons or simply entertainment and yet we gravitate towards them over and over again.

As we read to children or simply tell them the fairy tales or folk lore that begins once upon a time we see there faces light up. They come to know the characters, learn what comes next and can’t wait for the ending, the familiar ending of . . . they lived happily ever after. As we grow up and life events happen, some of them tough or tragic we too long for the happily ever after.

We forget in the middle of our struggles to make ends meet, try and succeed at work or school, look after the kids, the house, the activities and latest phone call demanding our attention that life is not that much different than fairy tales. We forget that even in fairy tales there are fire breathing dragons, wicked queens or witches. The stories have conflict, tough stuff and all of it needs to be worked on before we get to happily ever after. The main characters come out stronger and more lovable when compared to the ogres and trolls.

Each of us have stories in our lives, stories that go beyond Once Upon A Time. They are real. They hurt. They are exciting. They are devastating. They are! With each chapter of our life story we have our own tough stuff, our own good things and lessons gleaned from the adventure.

Laurence Sterne said, “Lessons of wisdom have the most power over us when they capture the heart through the groundwork of a story, which engages the passions.”

Sometimes the stories are on going, too hard to share with anyone since we are still in the middle of them. Journaling the events and the lessons learned helps us filter our responses to the day, week, month, year(s) and later gives us an opportunity to look back at where we’ve been and what we have learned along the way. There may come a time when your story can be shared with family, friends or beyond. Yes there might not be the happily ever after in the near future but as we survive the struggles, we grow and learn.

Anne Barab, a toastmaster and accomplished professional speaker shared at a conference I attended a few years ago. Later I had the opportunity to talk to her. She asked me what I was passionate to speak about and then told me that it is important to focus on the positives gleaned from the negative situations of life. The tough stuff is the backdrop but the nuggets of gold are the lessons you learned to pass on to someone else in the form of a story as part of your message.

I shared in an earlier post about writing the book Amee’s Story. It gave me a chance to sift through journal entries and pick out lessons I learned. It goes beyond a made up story into personal experience and with it I have been able to share with others the hope I found in the middle of the unexpected.

What tough things have you endured? What stories of hope and lessons learned have you been able to share, if you are at that point? Maybe you are still in the middle of the tough stuff of life and you wonder if happily ever after or even for a few moments will ever come. If this is where you are, may you know that you are not alone.